Atlanta restaurant reviews, culinary news, and gluttonous gossip by admitted foodaholic Serina Patrick

Super Kickass Guacamole!


Guacamole!Ingredients for Guacamole

OK, this is the real deal. I got this recipe from an old Mexican cleaning lady 20 years ago and have made it according to her standards ever since. Perhaps she prepares it with loving care in a traditional molcajete, a lava rock mortar and pestle. I make mine in my traditional Pillsbury Doughboy bowl!
Assembling the Guacamole

3 ripe avocadoes
1/2 white onion (I use Vidalias)
1 large tomato, peeled
1 jalapeno
bunch cilantro
lime juice

(Note: the photo of ingredients includes a Corona Light. This ingredient is not mandatory, however, I find that it helps the culinary process. You may substitute a shot of Herradura Silver if you prefer.)

Split the avocadoes and scoop them out into a medium bowl. To keep the guacamole chunky I use the spoon to coarsely cut up the avocadoes just a bit. Very small dice the onion by first cutting it in half, then making 1/8″ cuts in both directions (like a checkerboard pattern). Slice it across the pre-made cuts to make tiny diced pieces. Use the same method for the jalapeno, being careful not to touch the pepper and then your eyes (or other sensitive areas)! Chop a shitload of cilantro to taste. Rest the tomato in hot water to ease peeling, then peel, seed, dice and add to bowl. Add the juice of half a lime. Fold all the ingredients together and salt to taste. Refrigerate for up to 8 hours, completely covered in plastic to avoid oxidation.

Is that f*ckin’ delicious or what? Buy restaurant chips and salsa to serve with it….my new favorite is Uncle Julios.

Sure, there are a couple of acceptable variations but authentic quacamole contains no sour cream, no garlic, no mayonnaise. Mayonnaise is a French sauce like bearnaise….not invented in a trailor park in Mississippi as you may have suspected. Mexicans do not use French sauces. There was no sour cream in Mexico in the 1700’s.

Just use the real ingredients above and you will have quacamole as good as what I had in Playa del Carmen a few years ago…..Ole’!


About Author