Hot Dish Review

Every year, without fail, I must have chocolate covered strawberries from Mary of Puddin’ Hill. This tradition began about 15 years ago when a box of them arrived at my office, when I was working for BH. My then boyfriend, SS, had ordered them. He was always the best at gift-giving! He knew I loved surprises and never tipped me off.

When I opened that first box, I fell in love. A dozen huge, perfect strawberries were thickly coated in milk chocolate of the highest quality. The best part? They are packed in a box of mini marshmallows….like edible packing peanuts! The marshmallows get sticky and gooey from soaking up the juices from the berries.

This year the strawberries were supposed to be delivered on Friday the 12th, giving me a couple of days to enjoy them before my trip to Rio. But the snow in Texas where they ship from combined with the snow here in Atlanta (what are the chances?), held them up at UPS until the 15th. Being perishable, they were ruined by the time I got back on the 22nd.

So I called and they re-shipped them, just in time for my birthday! But, alas, it was not to be. The replacement shipment was inadvertently sent Ground rather than Next Day Air, so they will go bad by the time they arrive next week. When I noticed the shipping error I called right away.

I would almost give Mary of Puddin’ Hill a Knuckle Sandwich, but ever since SS and I broke up, if I was single on Valentine’s I would buy them for myself. So I’ve been doing business with them for a long time and these strawberries are truly a special treat, available only twice a year, on Valentine’s and Mother’s Day. (yes, I get them for both occassions)

These days I prefer dark chocolate. When I can’t get Mary of Puddin’ Hill strawberries (which is most of the time), I love Godiva’s (see pathetic photo, below).

The third shipment was sent out on February 25th. Timing was critical, there were no strawberries made to ship out so Linda who always takes my order pulled them from the store to send and I received them today! The only thing is the ones in the store were decorated with a white chocolate drizzle. I hate white chocolate. It is not chocolate. It is cocoa butter, sugar, and vanilla.

Whatever, it was just a drizzle, so I decided to accept them, and happily so! Momentarily, I will be biting through a hard chocolate shell with sticky marshmallows stuck on it, into a huge, sweet strawberry, it’s juices running down my chin as the chocolate begins to melt in my mouth.

Almost sounds like sex. Happy Valentine’s Day….better late than never!

Hours after arriving in Rio, AD and I were at a sidewalk cafe on the corner called Churrasco Vila Rica. Neither of us speak any Portugese so even requesting a menu was a task! She had her phrase book which came in handy but it was Deborah, seated at the table next to us, who gave us loads of advice….about Carnival, food, and watching our backs in Brazil.

She helped us order something to share. We wanted authentic Brazilian food, the everyday fare that the neighborhood folks love. Churrasco is a thin skirt steak, not the most tender or high quality cut, especially since it was cooked well-done. But we couldn’t complain, it’s grilled flavor hit the spot. Served with black beans, rice, and batata frita, a.k.a. fries.

There was also a mystery dish. We noticed other diners sprinkled it on their meat or beans so we followed suit. No one, not even Deborah in her relatively decent English, could tell us what is was exactly. Turns out it is called farofa, a traditional dish of the region. Made of toasted manioc flour it usually contains bits of bacon. I still don’t get why they use it, but I was compelled to do the same….hell, there was bacon in it!

We washed it all down with lots of cold cerveja!

Street food is everywhere in Rio. You can count on skewered and grilled steak, sausage, and chicken. AD got a steak skewer one afternoon that was really delicious, dipped in farofa of course.

Vendors sold fruit, mostly bananas and mangoes, but also agua de coco, or coconut water. They literally slice the top off a coconut and insert a straw. Ironically, my Mom told me about coconut water recently due to it’s extremely high levels of potassium. It was 95 degrees most days during our visit in Rio. People get sweaty! Which as we all know depletes one’s potassium. And what is full of potassium? Bananas and coconut water. Just goes to show that folks are naturally drawn to what their body’s need.

It was Morocco that introduced me to the frango frita, a pear shaped fried dough filled with minced chicken. M would get one every day after the beach and soon, I too was in the habit. He would get the sugar cane juice with it, both for a mere 2.70 Reals (about $1.50).

Lots of juice bars and snack shops in our neighborhood, like Hobby and Chan, sold them. I preferred the ones from Chan. Although they were drier, they had an awesome green hot sauce that we drizzled on the fritters after each bite.

Our hostel was right around the corner. Time for cerveja! There was a cooler right there in the lobby so I would run down and get a beer and go back upstairs to the deck where me and AD would check emails, smoke cigarettes, hang with the gang, and make plans for the next day, all in the sweltering heat of Brazil. Um cerveja por favor! Obrigado!

MY BIRTHDAY REMINDS ME OF HOW MUCH I HATE CAKE!

Yes, it’s true. I hate cake….perhaps even more than clowns. The most offensive version being the dreaded yellow cake with white frosting. What is the flavor of yellow cake? Yellow is not a fucking flavor, neither is white. At least chocolate cake and frosting are chocolate flavored. If you’re going to make some boring ass cake, at least make it in a fun shape, like a big penis, like Hollis Gillespie did for her birthday!

German chocolate cake is not so bad due to the nutty frosting, although it is in no way German. My Mom, who is German, used to make a black forrest cake which is chocolate cake drizzled with brandy, layered with canned cherries and whipped cream. As far as cake goes, it is quite tolerable.

Another cake abomination is the grocery store birthday cake. White sheet cake (again the flavor is what? white) with gobs of colorful frosting. The photo above is an actual specimen from Kroger….we added the “69″ candles to make it extra classy!

The next time you are presented with a trailer trash birthday cake from Kroger or Publix be sure to thank the thoughtful buyer with a well-placed Knuckle Sandwich!

Generally, I travel with a companion. However, meeting AD in Brazil last week, I was flying solo out of Terminal T. In search of an open currency exchange at Hartsfield-Jackson, I ended up at Terminal E (you know, E as in Edward. I think it would be so much better if it was E as in euphemism, but I also think Terminal T should be T as in tsunami).

Anyway, there I was….one chick, flying South. There was indeed a currency exchange on Terminal E, but they were out of Brazilian Reals. Directly across from the exchange was One Flew South, our airport’s new fine dining restaurant. I was supposed to review it for AFD when it opened last year but I had, ironically, flown South to Spain.

I love irony so I was compelled to dine there, taking a seat at the bar where Norm the bartender took care of me. The cocktail list was as creative as any chic spot in Atlanta, old-fashioned and travel oriented drinks. Jets to Brazil? Oh my God, how could I not order it! Made with cachaca, lime, parfait amour, and rhubarb bitters, I expected it to be a bit sweeter, like a caipirinha. But it was strong, a little funky tasting (the bitters perhaps).

One Flew South also has a sushi bar with a selection of rolls, nigiri, sashimi, and sakes to pair with the fish. Perhaps if I was going to Tokyo….

An impressive wine list includes Turley zin and Heitz cab. The space is sleek, modern, and decidedly unairportish.

Like a mind-reader, Norm recommended the very dishes I had my eye on. The theme? Pork. I started with the Benton’s bacon and Sweet Grass Dairy goat cheese salad that featured the herbie cheese spread beneath frisee (my favorite!) dressed with pink peppercorn vinaigrette. Thick, chewy slices of the bacon were divine. Basil poached pears added a sweet note to the salad.

I placed my salad and entree order at the same time, in awe at the speed at which the kitchen expedited orders for their customers, each one a stressed-out traveler with a plane to catch. Thyme roasted pork belly was crispy, fatty, and awesome, lightened up with a black-eyed pea and arugula salad, a smear of parsnip puree, and a touch of blackberry-onion marmalade. Norm suggested an Anchor Steam to follow my cocktail. Smart move.

The whole menu was intrigueing, from the pecan dusted scallops with sweet potato and cranberry hash appetizer (how did I resist that?) to the 1/2 pound Kobe burger with five spice fries. Both not a bargain at $16. The guy next to me didn’t eat his fries. They looked perfect….I almost reached over and grabbed them before they hit the bin, what a waste.

Breast of duck and portabella ravioli is just $22, while my pork belly came in at a reasonable $18.

Naturally, I could not resist the bread pudding. The drinks, and Norm, convinced me I had plenty of time! How about a Brooklyn Chocolate Stout to go with dessert? Yes, please! Alas, I didn’t love it. Made as a loaf, then sliced, I prefer my bread pudding baked with crunchy bits of bread here and there. Some creme fraiche would have helped.

Little did I know what was in store for me in the coming days, or even the coming hours. Find out what happens in the next installment of “Romancing Rio”.

AWWW, I MISS THE BUNNY! (Sorry for the re-runs…still in Rio!)

First, I have to applaud Smartfood, a division of Fritolay, for making an effort to provide healthier snacks that taste great. Their white cheddar popcorn has been a long-time favorite. And although I doubt that eating it regularly is really smart, it is certainly a better option than, say, fried butter wrapped in bacon and drizzled with maple syrup (yum!).

Anyway, Smartfood has recently introduced Popcorn Clusters. They come in four flavors like Cranberry Almond and Chocolate Cookie Caramel Pecan….sounds healthy, right? At 120 calories per tiny bag, it satisfies that late night craving.

The problem is the packaging. Five 1 oz. bags come in a box that could easily hold 15. Every time I buy it I can just hear the chainsaws cutting down the trees to make the f*#ckin box! Just put ‘em in one of those big shiny bags for God’s sake! Even The Bunny thinks it’s ridiculous. I think Smartfood deserves a big fat high-calorie Knuckle Sandwich for their wasteful practices….served with Baked Lays, of course! (yet another Fritolay brand)

HERE’S A RE-RUN WHILE I’M IN RIO!
Top Flr is one of my favorite restaurants in Atlanta for many reasons…food, ambiance, price, and service….they shine on all points! Those guys should give lessons on how to run a restaurant. Guests are usually greeted by Darren, one of the owners. Doesn’t hurt that he is English (and hot). The dining room upstairs (top floor) is cozy and they expanded the downstairs space last summer, but I still I prefer to sit at the original bar, although it isn’t quite the same since Adam’s departure. He was one of the original partners and selected the often obscure and wonderful wines on their list. He turned me on to anglianico, a spicy red that I’ve ordered ever since I tasted it.

Diners (and drinkers) are greeted by the smoky aromas of the kitchen….reminds me of a campfire so I especially enjoy eating there in the colder months.

The menu has evolved but several standards remain like the white bean hummus, duck confit pizza, lamb (now pork) skewers, and hangar steak. I can still remember the delicately flavored mussels from my first visit with d. Proteins are mostly a la carte, to be paired with one or two of their terrific sides. Salads are huge and fresh, the pastas are decadent comfort food. The original mac ‘n’ cheese left much to be desired but they have since improved it, and improved it again. It is now one of the best in town, with a creamy bechamel cheese sauce, baked with crispy breadcrumbs on top.

They used to do a duck confit pappardelle, reminiscent of the short rib version at the now-defunct Globe. Duck confit can still be found on a pizza, the current pie topped with pesto, applewood bacon, and grilled portobellos, and some sort of amazing cheese….smoked mozzarella perhaps? An artisan cheese plate is the perfect snack if you are sampling wines at the bar.

Many visits with AG completed my exploration of the Top Flr menu. The boring-sounding-but-surprisingly-not white bean hummus remains one of their most popular appetizers. I’ve had a fabulous scallop dish, a wonderful curry redolent of lemongrass and coconut milk, even the simple chicken delivers a mouthful of juicy, smoky flavor. Having tried practically every dish from appetizers to entrees, I once even ventured to order the tuna tartar flatbread with avocado. I don’t like tuna. I was amazing.

My first dessert there was one of the best things that ever crossed my lips. It was a cold Winter’s evening and me and LC had just stopped in for a nightcap, but my sweet tooth ached for something sinful….the caramelized pear tart with gorgonzola ice cream. Orgasmic.

Friday I introduced Top Flr to my new main squeeze ST. He ordered the salmon (which I admit I did not even try) with the stellar mac ‘n’ cheese (which I scarfed) and I finally had the crispy duck breast. The thick layer of fat left the crisped skin unedible….I wish they had rendered the fat, although the temp and flavor of the meat was perfect. I paired my entree with the sweet potato succhatash with pancetta, roasted peppers, jalapenos, and cream corn. It sounds a bit disjointed and would probably fare better with one less ingredient.

Two glasses of wine later, I craved something even sweeter than ST.
(Remember when Top Flr first opened and they did unusual chocolate truffles with spices and herbs?) Dried mission fig pudding cake (synonymous with bread pudding?) with berry compote….bring it on mama! Kickass.

I could regale you with more tales of Cote du Rhone and the crazy tobacco ice cream they once served, but suffice it to say, I’ve developed a relationship with this place. Is it love? Perhaps. And that just doesn’t happen every day.

674 Myrtle Street, just off Ponce 404-685-3110

I’ve been waiting a long time to post this. If you order a martini, most often you receive a martini glass full to the brim. WRONG! Worse yet, some pussies order “vodka martinis”. OK, so there is no such thing. That would be a vodka drink served in a martini glass.

By definition, a martini is gin with vermouth. I order mine with Bombay Sapphire, dry, straight up, with 3 olives. “Dry” means the vermouth is shaken with the ice, then thrown out. The essence of the vermouth remains to be shaken with the gin. If you order a vodka martini just call it what it is. A cosmopolitan perhaps?

When the guys from Top Flr and Dinner Party Atlanta suggested meeting at The Highland Tap, I was thrilled. Back in the day, me and my roommate LR (now LL) used to spend entire afternoons in the back corner booth, sipping martinis and chain smoking.

So, during the “blizzard” last Friday, I enjoyed the singular treat of a perfectly made martini.

The meeting was about the link between Dinner Party Atlanta (Darren Carr & Patrick LaBouff), Top Flr (Darren Carr & Jeff Myers), and the third venture, the secret yet-to-be-disclosed restaurant/music driven bar on Edgewood (Darren Carr, Jeff Myers, & Karl Injex) creating a culinary trifecta. Chef Shane Devereux is the glue between all three.

Back to martinis….the only place in Atlanta that serves a martini correctly is The Highland Tap. A martini is meant to be sipped slowly. To keep it cold, a small amount of the shaken drink is poured into a martini glass. The remainder is poured into a sidecar…..a tiny carafe that is kept cold in ice water on the side. This is the proper method of serving a martini. Any other method is incorrect, and unfortunately, standard.

If you can’t do it right, don’t do it! Here’s a Knuckle Sandwich for all of the bars and restaurants that force their bartenders to serve half-ass martinis….shame on you.

After a Valentine’s party at my office, I was a little down. Newly single (again!), I thought a light dinner served by a gorgeous bartender might help take my mind off of ST, so I headed to Abattoir.

Chef Hopkins changes the menu based upon what is available from local farmers, although there are several standards that have stuck, like the chicharrones. I guess pig skins aren’t too hard to come by at a restaurant that breaks down whole pigs on a regular basis!

Upon arrival I took a seat at the bar, happy to see BS was there. Having already started on cab at the party, he poured me a glass of red (was it the malbec?) as I perused the menu. A salad of lacinato kale with duck confit and farm egg vinaigrette caught my eye. BS confirmed it was awesome and recommended the valencay cheese served with a hot mini baguette from Star Provisions. Perfect.

Valencay is a smooth, dense mold-ripened cheese made of raw goat’s milk from the Loire Valley in France. It was paired with Marcona almonds and honeycomb. Sweet accompaniments with cheese are always my favorites.

The baguette reminded me of my bread debate with JR at Dinner Party last week. Although Star Provisions probably makes the best European-style baguettes in Atlanta, they don’t hold a candle to any baguette you can buy in Europe. Even the ones at the airport in Paris have that heavenly texture and flavor that is unmatched in the states.

Kale can be tough but the local lacinato kale Hopkins uses for this salad was tender, its slight bitterness balanced with a hint of sweetness in the dressing. A quartered hard boiled egg, paper-thin slices of radish, shreds of duck confit, and crisped bits of duck skin topped the greens. Just a terrific combination!

Another glass of wine, maybe the Louis Martini cab, and some light conversation was just what I needed! Thanks for lifting my spirits BS.

Valium will be my Valentine as I try to get some sleep on the flight to Brazil, then I’ll be romancing Rio!

It’s time to catch up with The Bunny….pussies gotta eat too! Here’s what fills her bowls these days.

Although she just had two extractions, she loves her Prescription Diet dry kibble (t/d, ironically for dental health). Of course, she also gets a little treat in the morning and another at night….just 1/3 can of Fancy Feast. Like fast food for cats, its nutritional merits are probably pretty low. Ingredients include wholesome poultry broth, chicken, and liver but then quickly go downhill with scary stuff like meat by-products and wheat gluten.

Made by Nestle Purina Petcare, the can claims “Animal feeding tests using AAFCO procedures substantiate that Fancy Feast provides complete and balanced nutrition for the growth and maintenance of cats.” Well, there you go.

Am I a bad mother? Truth is, I feel like she eats such a small quantity of Fancy Feast that it isn’t detrimental to her health. But that’s like saying it’s OK to smoke crack, as long as it’s just a puff or two.

I think we’ll switch to organic, minimally processed canned food treats or meat baby food (Seriously, I saw an old lady at Publix buying it for her cats. The only ingredient in the beef is beef….can’t get simpler than that!)

Although I’ve been accused of having the morals of an alleycat (how charmingly retro!), The Bunny is a sweet thing and deserves the very best!

OK, WTF! (sorry AG, I know how much you hate that, LOL). Why are there no Honeysuckle White turkey burgers in the stores? I have been buying their turkey burgers for years….years! I buy them in May, I buy them in October. Yes, I buy them year round.

This Winter they are MIA. I guess some brilliant mother fucker decided that people only grill burgers in the Spring and Summer. I cook mine in a skillet, so who cares if it’s 20 degrees outside! You mean people don’t eat turkey burgers in the Winter? OMG.

Kroger is the only store that carries this brand and I always thought they were made with turkey breast (this used to be the case) which is lower in fat and calories than the brand Publix carries,Jennie-O, which had 240 calories per patty the last time I checked.

Finally, I was forced to buy Perdue ground turkey breast. I had to touch it. That’s right, I had to make my own patties and since I’m a perfectionist with food, I weighed each piece for accuracy.

Although it was disgusting, it was a blessing in disguise. A 4 oz. serving (raw) of the Perdue ground turkey breast has only 120 calories! Their pre-made patties inexplicably have 160 calories. Checking the website for Honeysuckle White, it looks like their product has 240 calories per serving! What? They are described as lightly seasoned. I’ve noticed they look sorta like red meat when cooked, not white like the unseasoned Perdue. I’m guessing the “seasoning” is MSG and food coloring. Their frozen patties are 160 calories. I’m not sure why there is such a vast difference, even within the brands, but it is rather misleading….you gotta check the label every time and make sure it is breast meat. Jennie-O offers more varieties than Publix carries, the all natural white turkey burgers coming in at a mere 180 calories.

So. Who deserves the Knuckle Sandwich? Honeysuckle White gets a big fat one, with mayo please!